Tuesday, 20 August 2013

BTB...........before the boys

5 years ago Mr H, Bell and I left the UK for a new life on the East Coast of NZ.  I had Tom growing in my belly and dreams of being a stay at home mum.  After Tom came George.  Our family is now complete.

BTB - before the boys.  I see my life as two different chapters so far.

I look back and think about how far I have come.  I had Bell in my early twenties.  I worked full time from early on in her wee life.  I married Bell's dad and owned a gift and homeware store in Auckland and travelled a lot overseas (with and without Bell) our life was full and busy.

Then when I sold the business we ventured overseas for more travel before settling in London to live and work.  The marriage did not last but my love for that city has never faltered.  I met life long friends and had an amazing job where I travelled around Europe organising training events for a large corporate.  Dream job, dream life.

Then I met Mr H (an Englishman) and with that a longing to return to NZ and have more children.  So we did just that.  I just didn't have the career drive anymore.  I wanted out and a different way of life.

When (if???) I eventually return to work it will be for social interaction and of course the pay cheque.  I won't be wanting to "climb that corporate ladder".  I just have different priorities now.  The possibility of returning to work is a while off now but it has got me thinking as friends/mums make that step back into the workforce.

So tell me:

How has your life changed since having children?
Have you returned to work or plan to?
Will you be choosing a different career path altogether?
I would love for you to share your story.............. xo


  1. Well my life was my work for many, many years! We were together for 16 years before our children came along so plenty of play time, travelling and working very hard!
    Since having the girls we both worked part time and cared for them between us, this worked great! When Little Bea started school I increased we increased our hours but still managed most of the childcare between us. It's always been important to care for our children ourselves wherever possible!
    Now I can't work full on like I used too because of my health. I don't miss the stress, I bit more spending money would be great only because we had hoped to travel with the girls, but we are fine....in fact I think I'm the happiest I've ever been! :) x

  2. Gosh you have had some amazing travels. I worked full time with long hours pre kids. Now I work 2 days a week and feel very fortunate to have a flexible career that allows me to have adult conversation and finish cups of tea! mel x

  3. Yes to all your questions! Can't believe how I've shifted my ideas about work. I built up my career pre-kids, and have just returned to work part-time. Love being back in the adult world a bit, but love the balance in favour of home that I am fortunate to have. :)

  4. Wow!! I had no idea you were in such a position! It sounds like such an interesting career indeed!!!! You have me thinking now...I was a teacher for many years and have kept up my certification just incase I do head back into the classroom. But my dream...is to get my studio up and running in my house and to start creating again. When I was in college I studied painting and would like to jump at it again. I watch my brothers girls to make extra money for the family right now. Who knows where the road will go....I like being cozy in my home with these little beans! You take care sweet friend! SO wonderful that you have had this time with your kids!!!

  5. I loved reading this and learning a bit about your past. I work full time and pretty much have since I finished my teaching degree at uni almost 15 years ago. I did have a year off when each of my children was born. I always imagined I'd be a stay-at-home mum, but my husband has been the stay-at-home one instead. It just happened that way...as he went to uni to study once our eldest was born. Now and then I feel like I've missed out, but I try not to get bogged down on it and instead focus on all the great opportunities we've had because of my job. If it wasn't for teaching, I wouldn't be living on a beautiful island. In the future I hope to work part-time....but for now, I'm happy. I love coming home to a clean abode and meals cooked by the man of the house!!
    PS There was a time (for a period of about 12 months) when hubby and I both worked full time while the kids were young - it was a nightmare. The following year, Mr H chucked in his job and stayed at home....life was SO much easier.

  6. {www.crazyspeedylove.com}
    Times and life has without a doubt changed - before kids we loved seeing the world and of course having the 3 boys has stopped us in our tracks...but wouldn't have it any other way.
    Work at this stage I am still unsure of????? I am due back at the end of the year!! But certainly no climbing ladders - feet planted just fine below the first run of the ladder.

  7. Since having the 3 kids I have no drive what so ever to EVER return to work. I do work three mornings a week in our home office, but it doesn't really feel like a real job. I can wear my pajamas to 'work', listen to my music loud, sing, have as many cup of tea breaks as needed, hang the washing out between invoicing and play with the cat. I love being a stay at home mummy, am lucky being a stay at home mummy, and have no desire for that to change at all in the near future. I do dream of being a midwife though. I was enrolled to start my degree shortly before I fell pregnant with number 3, but obviously there is a difference between studying to deliver children and actually delivering your own .... can't really do both at the same time ... Maybe one day I'll need to return or feel the desire, I can't imagine as what, and I can't imagine career climbing. Happy holding the ladder steady at the bottom :)

  8. I've been thinking about this lately too. I realised that at the end of the year, I will have been out of the workforce for 4 years! Boy that has gone quickly! I feel very lucky that I am able to stay home with the boys and I get no pressure from hubby to return to work. I'm pretty sure I'll be at home full time until they are both in school. After then, who knows?! I hated my job, so I wont be returning to that field, but then I'm not really sure what I would do instead. I'm hoping that it finds me. I love being at home, but I do miss the adult interaction and conversation and sometimes I feel like my brain it rotting. That's why I try and stay creative in my limited free time.

  9. I didn't know you lived in the UK! I dream of living in NZ - I have the impression that if I visited I would never leave. Seems so dreamy!

    Yes, I feel I have lots of distinct chapters in my life - before/after having children and before/after moving to the UK. I wonder what other chapters are in my future - sometimes I'd like just a little peek :)


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